Ok, so hoagies, right? Hoagies are terrific. You can put anything you want on them, they can be as big or as small as you like, and you can take them anywhere! Without hoagies, many resturaunts would not even exist, Subway and Quiznos for example, and many stores would have much less product.
The possibilities are endless when it comes to these behemoth sandwiches. Meat lovers, vegetarians, the elderly, there's a hoagie for everyone! My favorite hoagie contains a nice heaping portion of pepperoni and salami, as pictured on the right (this particular one from Subway, though I have yet to get one with this much stuff inside, but that's another story for another time), topped off with some good old American cheese, lettuce, and olives. But it doesn't end there. You can put anything you want onto a hoagie. If all you have is a bun and some lunchmeat, BAM! you have yourself a hoagie. If you have a couch, things are sure to fall beneath the cushion. Normally people just vaccuum these odds and ends up, but those truly aware of the potentials of a good sandwich will push it all into a pile and toss it into a bun, making their own little hoagie-surprise. Watch out for those old pennies though, I hear they can give you copper poisoning!
Hoagies also stimulate the economy, and are as valued a commodity as fossil fuels and television. Many celebrities that have graced pop culture with their presence got their start in hoagiedom. Charles Subway, founder of the eponymous resturaunt, is ranked among the 100 richest people, in some magazine or another, due to his love for the hoagie. He started out selling these meat-cheese-and-bread monsters outside of Wall Street back in 1923 to weary veterans of the stock market crash. This was pivotal in relieving the depression-era, because investors get hungry, and allowing them to eat without even stepping foot off the sidewalk out front made them stay much longer(thus investing more money) than they would have otherwise. Many retail food chains caught onto the trend, further increasing the profits reported on this edible gold, and the rest, as they say, is history(you can read about that in an encyclopedia or something).
Another facet of these deliciously glorius foods that helped to boost their popularity is the fact that they are perfect in any and every situation. Racecar(yay for palindromes) drivers can chow down while moving at the speed of sound, though this does present a danger, especially when a drink is involved, such as when Dale Earnhart III's straw fell through the lid of his cup. You can fit a hoagie into your pocket, which can also help keep it warm, a great tactic for those who love their subs toasted. Hoagies keep their fillings through even the most rigorous activities, such as jogging, skydiving, and even riding horses! With the invention of the "Party Sub" as some call it, one may survive for weeks on the harsh icy trails of the Iditarod or in the blazing hot deserts of the Sahara(don't need to worry about thirst when you have meat and vegetables, they're chock full of water!). They can also be used for holiday get togethers, providing perfect portions for every member of the family.
Yes, the hoagie is a truly amazing thing, and whether it's bringing relatives closer together or merely sustaining the body's energy requirements, you can be that it will be tasty!
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